Who am I?

To be honest I don’t know myself.

The November before last I hit 30.  I wasn’t ready for it.  30, I was supposed to be an adult, supposed to have my place defined in life.  Instead I was a 30 year old who whilst happily married for 6 years, happened to be unsure of myself.  My craft shop was failing.  I hated my weight.  My love of food and clothes were gone.

If you had asked me at 16 what I was going to be at 30, I’d have arrogantly told you I was going to be successful in my field.

Well the year of 30 was miserable but some positives came from it.  I finally plucked the courage to end my failing business, which was making my family and me unhappy.  I turned my back on crafts and all that was involved.  I signed up to go back to school to do a degree.  It was something I’d always regretted not doing.

Last November another year had gone by and I was 31.  Whilst not a lot had changed I felt different, happier.  January came and the resolutions started. March came and most of them had been broken.  It’s April now and I have a new outlook.  I’ve decided to learn to grow my own veg (which at the moment is still in the packet.)  To put more effort in being sustainable.  To question where things come from and if they are needed.

I finally made a commitment out loud to Traid’s #SECONDHANDFIRST pledge.  This is where I pledge that 70% of my clothes sourced in the future will be second hand.  I’m now committed to a more eco and ethical future.

Who am I?

I’m not sure, but I know who I want to be.